Welcome to the Mothers Central Blog. We currently put a new post up every Thursday! If you enjoy our blog, be sure to subscribe to our RSS feed, share your comments, and check out our MC Voices Page . Thanks for visiting!
NOTE: On Thursday, October 18th, the National Association of Mothers? Centers will be hosting a webinar by best-selling author Kristin Maschka as part of the NAMC Webinar Series entitled: The 6 Biggest Money Making Mistakes Mothers Make. This webinar attempts to set moms up to take action on the bigger mistakes that impact our lifetime financial health and well-being. This topic caused me to reflect on how quickly life can take an unexpected turn for the worse ? both financially and personally.
It was 8:25 p.m. on an early October evening. I was sitting in the rare silence of my home catching up on some reading when I heard the distant yet piercing sounds of ambulance sirens.
8:25 p.m.
- Only 25 short minutes after putting a long day of responsibilities?and three kids to rest.
- Only 25 short minutes into a little downtime for myself before heading off to bed.
- Only 25 short minutes since my husband had left for his evening run.
On this dark, chilly night, amongst the increasing screams of ambulance sirens that seemingly grew closer and closer to our home, I began to worry as my mind drifted towards thoughts of what-if?
What-if something had happened to my husband??
Questions with Hard Answers
Life is filled with hypothetical what-ifs, most of which only occasionally happen.
What if? I forget to send that email?
What if? I don?t have enough time in my day to finish this or that?
What if, what-if, what-if?
Yet this time, surrounded by the exhaustion of my day, my what-ifs became much darker.
What if? I was suddenly left alone to take care of our kids by myself?
I tried to allow my fears to subside as the sirens became more distant ? their destination obviously much further then my husband?s run would take him. However, once the questions turn-on, they can be very hard to turn-off. And soon I was flooded with other hypothetical thoughts.
What if? extended family could no longer help care as much for our children?
What if? my husband or I lost our jobs or couldn?t work anymore?
In these worst-case scenarios, what would we do? How quickly things could change?
Independence and Reliance
I rely a lot on my husband to help get our children to and from various activities when I?m busy, to pick up groceries most weeks, to make dinners on occasion, and to assist in homework when I can?t. My husband also gives me emotional support on those days I am mentally drained and contributes greatly to our family?s household bills.
What?s more, not only do I rely on my husband, but I also rely a lot on family members ? especially for their generous, loving and reliable childcare.
I will admit, after becoming a mother, all the scary hypothetical what-ifs now seem SO MUCH MORE real to me. One slip, one unexpected event, could drastically change our comfortable lives.
The reality is motherhood can be one of the single biggest risk factors for poverty.
Illness, divorce, unexpected deaths and many, many other circumstances can quickly take any mother from supported independence, to dependence with little support.
What-if your house is worth more than you can sell it for?
What-if you can?t afford childcare, but also can?t afford to not go back to work?
What-if ?
Life?s hypothetical ?what-ifs? can quickly erase any preconceived notion of how one thought their life might turn out.
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It?s 8:30 p.m. ? only 5 minutes later ? when my husband walks into our home, closing the front door to the darkness of the evening. As he enters he casually glances my way.
?Did you hear those sirens?? he mentions. ?I know it?s crazy, but I kept thinking what-if they were going to our house?I almost called during my run just to make sure you were okay!?
And I knew exactly what he meant.
Scary thoughts ? that I?d like to think wouldn?t happen to us? but? what if?
Leave a comment: How do you deal with life?s big, hypothetical what-ifs?
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NAMC Webinars are FREE
to NAMC Members and $20 for non members.
Visit our webinar schedule to learn more about preparing financially as a mother
and to view other upcoming webinar topics.
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The NAMC advocates to encourage a society where the work of taking care of others is valued, supported and at the center of public discussion. For more in-depth insight and conversations on public policy and caregiving support, consider visiting the NAMC?s Advocacy Blog ? Your (Wo)man in Washington.
I am a staff member of the National Association of Mothers' Centers and a longtime member of the Mothers' Center of Greater Toledo in Ohio. My husband and I are busy raising 3 children ages 2-9. I have a professional background as a graphic designer in the creative and education industry. Since 2005, I have been using my professional skills by actively volunteering with the Mothers' Center of Greater Toledo in various leadership positions.
Kate Fineske
Source: http://www.motherscenter.org/blog/2012/10/hypothetical-what-ifs/
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